Thank you Alexis! I really appreciate your feedback - and the personal story you shared. I can relate to every single thing you described... I broke it off with my mother last year, and for a while just seeing her name pop up on my phone screen in a message notification would make my heart sink. Like, my body would physically go into a fight or flight response. I was terrified to speak with her - even over text! The funny thing is, I wasn't even sure what was afraid of! It's not like she could actually hurt me physically, there was no actual threat. I think it's a great reminder of how damaging psychological abuse can be.
However, I am happy to report that this pain does heal with time. And maybe for you it makes sense to cut all contact with her for sometime - it REALLY helps! In my case, I just stopped talking to her, other than some occasional text messages (she would usually initiate). I refused phone calls and definitely refused personal meetings. And I spent a lot of time working through my trauma in therapy, as well as on my own, reflecting and journaling. Now it's been a year, and I feel like I was reborn. I am a very different person, and I am actually capable to stand up to my mother and set strict boundaries with her.
If there are specific topics related to maternal narcissism you would be interested in seeing me cover, please feel free to drop me a note at email@example.com - I will be happy to write about it!