How to Become a Loving Parent to Yourself
Because nobody else can love you unconditionally
People like to talk about unconditional love. They have a fantasy of this elevated, pure, and perfect feeling, this kind of relationship where you are entirely and totally accepted as you are, with all your flaws, insecurities, and bad behavior. I recently wrote about where this yearning comes from: it develops in you from the moment you are born when you look at your mother’s reactions to you and your behaviors and learn who you are from your own reflection in her eyes. You adopt the qualities she encourages and dismiss the ones she disapproves of or ignores.
Thus, even a mother’s love is not really unconditional. Well, maybe only when you are very, very little. Your mother looks at you through the prism of her own life experiences and, whether she is aware of it or not, imposes on you the burden of her own insecurities, hopes, dreams, and expectations. You mold yourself into the person she wants you to be because while you’re young, you don’t really have a choice. However, this tendency to adjust…
